Here I go again

Well....to my surprise boyfriend wants to try and work harder on us. He does not want to lose me. He wants to go back into couples therapy but by himeself for a couple of times.....I said if that's what you want then you have to make the appts yourself, Im not doing it for you! He hasnt asked for the # yet so we'll see how serious he really is. Go Figure!! Still I straddle the fence with my thoughts & feelings abouts us. Do I tough it out and see us through the rough part in our life? Or do I say enough is enough and be done. I know that I'm the one that essentially has to make the decision. I know that I'm a strong person! Before he came along I took more care of myself. Now I'm the last one on the list that I take care of. I'm getting better at this one though. As I said in a previous post, this is my year to work on me on me mentally, emotionally & physically. One thing that upsets me is that he has little empathy for my past and the sexual & physical abuse that I suffered through. He doesnt understand that is how fucked up shit can fuck a childs life up even if it did happen years ago. It still hurts me so much and still has effects on me to this present day. This is part of my journey. This is part of finding me.